Laugh Quotes

I so do, they always seem to get extra crazy when you quote natural law and things that you can see from your bedroom window. How dare they tread on the secular.

To him who in the love of Nature holds
Communion with her visible forms, she speaks
A various language; for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness, and a smile
And eloquence of beauty, and she glides
Into his darker musings, with a mild
And gentle sympathy, that steals away
Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts
Of the last bitter hour come like a blight
Over thy spirit, and sad images
Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall,
And breathless darkness, and the narrow house,
Make thee to shudder, and grow sick at heart;–
Go forth under the open sky, and list
To Nature’s teachings, while from all around–
Earth and her waters, and the depths of air,–
Comes a still voice–Yet a few days, and thee
The all-beholding sun shall see no more
In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,
Where thy pale form was laid, with many tears,
Nor in the embrace of ocean shall exist
Thy image. Earth, that hourished thee, shall claim
Thy growth, to be resolv’d to earth again;
And, lost each human trace, surrend’ring up
Thine individual being, shalt thou go
To mix forever with the elements,
To be a brother to th’ insensible rock
And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain
Turns with his share, and treads upon. The oak
Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mould.
Yet not to thy eternal resting place
Shalt thou retire alone–nor couldst thou wish
Couch more magnificent. Thou shalt lie down
, With patriarchs of the infant world–with kings
The powerful of the earth–the wise, the good,
Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,
All in one mighty sepulchre.–The hills
Rock-ribb’d and ancient as the sun,–the vales
Stretching in pensive quietness between;
The vernal woods–rivers that move
In majesty, and the complaining brooks
That make the meadows green; and pour’d round all,
Old ocean’s grey and melancholy waste,–
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man. The golden sun,
The planets, all the infinite host of heaven,
Are shining on the sad abodes of death,
Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread
The globe are but a handful to the tribes
That slumber in its bosom.–Take the wings
Of morning–and the Barcan desert pierce,
Or lost thyself in the continuous woods
Where rolls the Oregan, and hears no sound,
Save his own dashings–yet–the dead are there,
And millions in those solitudes, since first
The flight of years began, have laid them down
In their last sleep–the dead reign there alone.–
So shalt thou rest–and what if thou shalt fall
Unnoticed by the living–and no friend
Take note of thy departure? All that breathe
Will share thy destiny. The gay will laugh,
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before will chase
His favourite phantom; yet all these shall leave
Their mirth and their employments, and shall come,
And make their bed with thee. As the long train
Of ages glide away, the sons of men,
The youth in life’s green spring, and he who goes
In the full strength of years, matron, and maid,
The bow’d with age, the infant in the smiles
And beauty of its innocent age cut off,–
Shall one by one be gathered to thy side,
By those, who in their turn shall follow them.
So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan, that moves
To the pale realms of shade, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but sustain’d and sooth’d
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.

Isa 53:5-12 He was WOUNDED FOR OUR TRANSGRESSIONS, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and YHWH HATH LAID ON HIM THE INIQUITY OF US ALL. 7 He was oppressed, and HE WAS AFFLICTED, yet HE OPENED NOT HIS MOUTH: he is brought AS A LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER, & as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: FOR THE TRANSGRESSION OF MY PEOPLE WAS HE STRICKEN. 9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because HE HAD DONE NO VIOLENCE, NEITHER WAS ANY DECEIT IN HIS MOUTH. 10 Yet it pleased YHWH to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of YHWH shall prosper in his hand. 11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge SHALL MY RIGHTEOUS SERVANT JUSTIFY MANY; FOR HE SHALL BEAR THEIR INIQUITIES. 12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because HE hath POURED OUT HIS SOUL UNTO DEATH: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and HE BARE THE SIN OF MANY, & MADE INTERCESSION FOR THE TRANSGRESSORS.

Ps 22 My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? … 3 But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. 4 Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. 5 They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded. 6 But I am a worm, and no man; A REPROACH OF MEN, & DESPISED OF THE PEOPLE. 7 All they that see me LAUGH ME TO SCORN: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, 8 HE TRUSTED ON YHWH that he would deliver him: LET HIM DELIVER HIM, SEEING HE DELIGHTED IN HIM. … 11 Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is NONE TO HELP. 12 Many bulls have compassed me: strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round. 13 They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and a roaring lion. 14 I AM POURED OUT LIKE WATER, & ALL MY BONES ARE OUT OF JOINT: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. 15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd; & MY TONGUE CLEAVETH TO MY JAWS; & thou hast brought me into the dust of death. 16 For DOGS HAVE COMPASSED ME: the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me: THEY PIERCED MY HANDS & MY FEET. 17 I MAY TELL ALL MY BONES: they look and stare upon me. 18 THEY PART MY GARMENTS among them, & CAST LOTS UPON MY VESTURE. 19 But be not thou far from me, O YHWH: O my strength, haste thee to help me. 20 Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog. … 22 I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee. 23 Ye that fear YHWH, praise him; ALL YE THE SEED OF JACOB, GLORIFY HIM; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel. 24 FOR HE HATH NOT DESPISED NOR ABHORRED THE AFFLICTION OF THE AFFLICTED; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. 25 My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him. 26 The meek shall eat and be satisfied: THEY SHALL PRAISE YHWH that SEEK HIM: your heart shall live for ever. 27 ALL THE ENDS OF THE WORLD SHALL REMEMBER & TURN UNTO YHWH: & ALL THE KINDREDS OF THE NATIONS SHALL WORSHIP BEFORE THEE. 28 For the kingdom is YHWH’s: and he is the governor among the nations. 29 All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship: all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him: and none can keep alive his own soul. 30 A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation. 31 They shall come, & shall declare his righteousness unto A PEOPLE THAT SHALL BE BORN, THAT HE HATH DONE THIS.

Isa 9:6-7 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of YHWH of hosts will perform this.

1 Sam 8:5-7 And said unto him, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations. 6 But the thing displeased Samuel, when they said, Give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto YHWH. 7 And YHWH said to Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but THEY HAVE REJECTED ME, that I should not reign over them.
1Sam 10:19 & ye have
this day rejected your God, who himself saved you out of all your adversities & your tribulations; & ye have said unto him, Nay, but set a king over us. Now therefore present yourselves before YHWH by your tribes, & by your thousands.
1Sam 12:12 & when ye saw that Nahash the king of the children of Ammon came against you, ye said unto me, Nay; but a king shall reign over us: when YHWH your God was your king.
1Sam 12:17-19 Is it not wheat harvest to day? I will call unto YHWH, & He shall send thunder & rain; that ye may perceive & see your wickedness is great, which ye have done in the sight of theYHWH in asking you a king.18 So Samuel called unto YHWH; & YHWH sent thunder & rain that day: & all the people greatly feared YHWH & Samuel. 19 & all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto YHWH thy God, that we die not: for we have added unto all our sins this evil, to ask us a king.
Isa 43:11 I, even I, am YHWH; & beside me there is no saviour.
Isa 45:21 Tell ye, & bring them
near; yea, let them take counsel together: who hath declared this from ancient time? who hath told it from that time? have not I YHWH? & there is no God else beside me; a just God & a Saviour; there is none beside me.
Hosea 13:4 Yet I am YHWH thy God from the land of Egypt, & thou shalt know no god but me: for there is no saviour beside me.
Mat 1:23 Behold, a maid shall be with child, & shall bring forth a son, & they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
Micah 5:2 But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.
Heb 10:5 Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice & offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me:
Zech 12:10 & I will pour upon the house of David, & upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace & of supplications: & THEY SHALL LOOK U
UPON ME WHOM THEY HAVE PIERCED, & they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, & shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.
Deut 4:35 Unto thee it was shewed, that thou mightest know that YHWH he is God; there is none else beside him.
Mal 2:10 Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, by profaning the covenant of our fathers?
Zech 14:9 & YHWH shall be KING over all the earth: in that day shall there be one YHWH, & His name one.
Please read these verses in Your own Scriptures carefully & then answer regarding what concepts they convey of who’s the Messiah.
Kosher Jewish Spy™ JPA - please take a moment to give a more concise, less vauge answer… are not these same verses in your own scriptures?
Gorgeoustx Go Spurs Go!! - Your statement about no second chances cannot be substantiated by the pre- Christ scriptures… later traditions & teachings of men who rejected the Messiah’s first coming obviously are just that.
Plushy_Bear JPA - thank you for a descent Jewish answer thus far… I am interested in learning about the subject… right now, i’m finding it difficult to look into any one answer in great depth for the multitude of answers… I’ll try & get back to you.
I would say alot of you are refuting the translation… yet I’ve read many of these passages in Jewish translations, so what specifically are you refuting? - Don’t give me the ol this language cannot be translated into that language argument… it’s as bogus as they come… Also I would like to see the original Hebrew as compared to the definition & other such uses of the words you refute the translations of… Otherwise you’re wasting everybody’s time with false accusations that do not shine any light at all.
Cher - I don’t deny Judaism as correct reading of Torah… Is there a free computerized version of the Torah & prophets b4 Christ you know of which I can use to draw the texts from?
I know virgin is not in the original Hebrew & I tried to substitute maid for virgin… If I missed this somewhere, I do apologize… I do try to get it as correct to the original as possible… I was not however born a Jew & like you stated… Jews don’t care what others believe… But I do try… I cannot go back & change anything in my question or post… so if I make any errors please do overlook them.
BROOK - I’ll go my way, you go yours… My question is still a valid one & not intended to ruffle your feathers or refute your beliefs. I appreciate the answers of those giving me homework… It’ll be interesting & time consuming, but I appreciate it. I still see no real explanation… perhaps in the homework I’ll find some reasonable answers… I’m sure there must be some reasonable answers for this.
KosherNinja PaperbackWriter - I appreciate your post & the work you’ve given… I am researching your work now… דקר daqar - clearly means “thrust through” as it is properly translated in ~8 other verses… Yet, not sure what the difference is in definitions? Don’t they both mean, “To thrust into, penetrate, or transfix, with a pointed instrument. It’s a small detail… I’ll keep researching.
Ok, Isa 53:10
if his soul makes itself restitution (acknowledge guilt) vs
whenH518 thou shalt makeH7760 his soulH5315 an offering for sin,H817
H817 is clearly used repeatedly for “trespass offering”
H5315 clearly means life, breath of life, or soul
H7760 clearly means “to put place or set”
So we have (his soul) (made) (trespass offering)
& H518 can mean: if, shall, when, or, except, will not, however… Gen 38:9 It is rather neutral to both sides… So it can mean either depending on the reader / translator… Neither can really be called a mis-translation scholastically, except only by personal convictions & emotions… It’s a Tomato or Tamato.
Nothing strong enough to call the other ungodly over.
So far I have not seen any strong arguments to discount Jesus as Christ only personal opinions… I really expected more… I am still looking, but I’d like at least one concise & valid answer… obviously If I’m the one having to do the research… they are not very concise answers.
IS IT TRUE… “JPA” STANDS FOR JEWISH PAGAN ALIANCE?!! WHY WOULD ANY GODLY RELIGION FORM AN ALIANCE WITH PAGANS? I mean, I know jews have done so throughout the scriptures… But today???
& it certainly wasn’t a godly thing for those who did so back then… Do you feel God has to honor such as who form such alliances?
Still seems as a whole, these verses point to someone who would come & fulfill them… a Christ.
& I would definitely have to add, Jesus nor any truly faithful would ever form an alliance with Pagans.

The world is in a state of flux. Global warming, bizarre weather patterns, Red Sox win a World Series. Pluto gets voted off the island. Why shouldn’t religion get a makeover. I think “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors goods” should be tossed aside like a banana with brown spots. What’s wrong with desiring something nice that your neighbor owns? A Lexus, perhaps. If you steal it then you’ve violated that other Commandment. If you kill the neighbor, that’s covered, too. Coveting is just desiring. Almost everyone does that every day. No harm, no foul. That Commandment would be an afterthought on a 10 Suggestions list. 9 Commandments is a little unwieldy, though. OK, tack on a “Though shalt never laugh at a Pauly Shore movie” and you’re back up to snuff.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Katrina)? Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.? And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”
In light of recent events…terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said OK.
Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with “WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.”
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell.? Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.? Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.? Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace..
Are you laughing?
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Well, ok here is my god. I worship this guy…

Laugh now! And thou shall be saved!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o&feature=related
hahah, I am not sad? I am the one laughing sweetie pie

Words from Ben Stein

http://www.thefirearmsforum.com/showthread.php?p=182777#post182777

more from Ben Stein & others

——————————————————————————–

There is some normalcy in America. We are just another Minority

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday, 12/18/05.

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don’t know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise’s wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.

If this is what it means to be no longer young. It’s not so bad.

Next confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution, and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren’t allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her “How could God let something like this Happen?” (regarding Katrina)

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”

In light of recent events…terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said OK.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with “WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.”

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it… no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
__________________
FUNNY you should ask that Sister Sin.

An Open Letter From God
My dear children, and believe Me, that is all of you, I consider myself a pretty patient guy. I mean, look at the Grand Canyon. It took millions of years to get it right. And about evolution? Boy, nothing is slower than designing that whole Darwinian thing to take place cell by cell and gene by gene. And I have been patient through your fashions, your civilizations, wars and schemes, and the countless ways that you take Me for granted until you get yourselves into big trouble again and again. I want to let you know about some of the things that started ticking Me off.

First of all, your religious rivalries are driving Me up a wall. Enough already! Let’s get one thing straight. These are your religions, not Mine. I’m the whole enchilada. I’m beyond ‘em all. Every one of your religions claims that there’s only one of Me, which, by the way, is absolutely true, but in the very next breath each religion claims that it’s My favorite one. And each claims its bible was written personally by Me, and that all of the other bibles are man-made. Oh, Me. How do I ever begin to put a stop to such complicated nonsense? All right, listen up now. I am your Father and Mother, and I don’t play favorites among My children.

Also, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t write. My longhand is awful, and I’ve always been more of a doer anyway. So ALL of your books,including those bibles, were written by men and women. They were inspired men and women, they were remarkable people, but they also made mistakes here and there. And I made sure of that, so that you would never trust a written word rather than your own living heart. You see, one human being to Me — even a bum on the street — is worth more than all of the holy books in the world. That’s just the kind of a guy I am. My spirit is not an historical thing. It’s alive right now, right now, as fresh as your next breath. Holy books and religious rites are sacred and powerful, but they are not more so than the least of you. They were only meant to steer you in the right direction, not to keep you arguing with each other, and certainly not to keep you from trusting your own personal connection with Me. Which brings Me to My next point about your nonsense.

You act like I need you and your religions to stick up for Me or win souls for My sake. Please, don’t do Me any favors. I can stand quite well on My own, thank you. I don’t need you to defend Me, I don’t need constant credit. I just want you to be good to each other. And another thing. I don’t get all worked up over money or politics, so stop dragging My name into your dramas. For example, I swear to Me that I never threatened Oral Roberts. I never rode in any of Rajneesh’s Rolls Royces and I never told Pat Robertson to run for president, and I have never had a conversation with Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell or Jimmy Swaggart. Of course, come Judgement Day, I certainly intend to.

Now the thing is, I want you to stop thinking of religion as some sort of a loyalty pledge to Me. The true purpose of religion is so that YOU can become more aware of ME, not the other way around. Believe Me, I know you already. I know what’s in each of your hearts, and I love you anyway with no strings attached. So, lighten up and enjoy Me. That’s what religion’s best for. What you seem to forget is how mysterious I am. You look at the petty differences in your scriptures and you say, “Well, if this is the truth, then that can’t be.” But instead of trying to figure out My paradoxes and unfathomable nature — which, by the way, you never will — why not open your hearts to the simple, common threads of every religion? You know what I’m talking about. Play nice with each other. Love and respect everyone. Be kind. Even when life is scary or confusing, take courage and be of good cheer, for I’m always with you.

And learn how to be quiet, so that you can hear My still, small voice. I don’t like to shout. Leave the world a better place by living your life with dignity and gracefulness, for you are My own child. Hold back nothing from life, for the parts of you that can die surely will, and the parts that can’t, won’t. So don’t worry, be happy. (I stole that last line from Bobby McFerrin, but Who gave it to him in the first place?) Simple stuff now. Why do you keep making it so complicated? It’s like you’re always looking for an excuse to be upset. And I am very tired of being your main excuse.

Do you think whether you call Me God, or Yahweh, or Jehovah, Allah, Wakatonka, Brahma, Father, Mother, even the Void of Nirvana? Do you think I care which of My Special Children you feel closest to — Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed or any of the others? You can call Me and My Special Ones any names you choose, if only you will go about My business of loving one another as I love you. How can you keep neglecting something so simple? No, I am not telling you to abandon your religions. Enjoy your religions, honor them, learn from them, just as you should enjoy, honor, and learn from your parents. But do you walk around telling everyone that your parents are better than theirs? Your religion, like your parents, may always have the most special place in your heart. I don’t mind that at all. And I don’t want you to combine all of the great traditions into One big mess.

Each religion is unique for a reason. Each has a unique style so that people can find the best path for themselves. But My Special Children — the ones that your religions revolve around — all live in the same place in My heart, and they get along perfectly, I assure you. The clergy must stop creating a myth of sibling rivalry where there is none.

My blessed children of Earth, the world has grown too small for your pervasive religious bigotrys and confusion. The whole planet is now connected by air travel, satellite dishes, telephones, fax machines, rock concerts, diseases and mutual needs and concerns. Get with the program! If you really want to help me celebrate the birthday of My Son Jesus, then commit yourselves to figuring out how to feed your hungry and clothe your naked, and protect your abused and shelter your poor. And just as important, make your own everyday life a shining example of kindness and good humor.

I’ve given you all the resources you need, if only you abandon your fear of each other and begin living, and loving and laughing together. Now, I am not really ticked off. Not really. I just wanted to grab your attention because I hate to see you suffer. But I gave you free will, so what can I do now other than try to influence you through reason, persuasion, and a little old-fashioned guilt and manipulation? After all, you know I am the original Jewish Mother. I just want you to be happy, and I’ll sit in the dark. I really am with you always. Always.

Trust in Me. Your One and Only,
God

(btw people I am not actually claiming this was written by God, I found it on the net!)

I’m an old-fashioned woman once it comes to love. Not as naive as i used to be - i got my heart broken over puppy love in high school and i’ve learned to become realistic. When i got to college, i met this person who ended up being one of my close friends - probably the closest i’ve been to anyone for a long time. I never thought i would fall for him nor would he fall for me. We had a good relationship - nothing i’ve ever experienced. I was so comfortable with him - we could talk openly and trust each other about anything and everything (rare nowadays) and we could also laugh and understand each other. For a friendship, we were very affectionate - taking care of each other if one was heartbroken or not in a good place. Looking back, i’m surprised we kept inside the boundries as friends. He was always respectful and a gentleman to me - this was truly a special relationship no one can understand except for the two of us. Close for about three yrs…

Early this yr, we fell for each other year very deeply (hes always had feelings and i never caught on). We were “together” for a little (cuddles, give him first kiss) - i KNEW it would be potentially a good relationship. It was always my ideal relationship to end up w. a best friend. I could see myself being with him in the future for a long time but not at the moment. I had that “gut feeling” that kept telling me, “yes, be with him but wait. not now in your life.” Very strong feeling and i agreed. I’m at the pt in my life where i want to start a foundation and finish my studies first. He understood completely and it was hard for both of us. For the next couple months after that, we tried being friends but i think it was harder for him than me. I told him back then that i would get over the situation of us not being together someday but i would never get over him. It’s almost been a year and who knew i spoke the truth back then. I’ve met and hung out w. other guys but NOTHING compares to him. I respect him as a person and it’s hard to shake him off. After the past few months, i’ve learned to not force feelings - to not force getting over him and not getting over him. It is what it is and let your feelings be. It’s been months and i STILL feel the same way. I know for a fact the only way i’ll get over him is if God allows me to meet my future husband. Other than that, i don’t think i’ll ever get over him.
I KNOW THERE’S SOMETHING CALLED “FREE WILL” BUT I’VE LEARNED NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE CONTROL, YOU DON’T HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL AND GOD TAKES CARE OF THE REST

IS IT SELFISH TO PRAY THIS ONE OUT AND LEAVE IT ALL UP TO GOD?

I must have been asleep when “Thou shalt not laugh” was added.

Oh, and by the way, doesn’t “no other gods before me” imply, well, other gods?
Good point Marie, and thank you. Actually I meant laugh with, not at. Equally, there is nothing wrong with standing back and having a giggle at yourself or your group when appropriate. Given there is no sin too big to be forgiven, surely it follows there is nothing too serious to laugh about…

Can I just say that when I ask these questions I am trying to make people think, not “having a go” (okay, maybe a good-natured rib!) and certainly not asking for lectures. I can and do read widely, and in most instances already have a fair understanding of what the Bible says on this or that issue. What I’m interested in is what people think and feel, not proof that they can regurgitate chapter and verse.