Laugh Quotes

hi, this might be long lol. right ive known my girlfriend for years and (did lol) know her like the back of my hand. im 20 and she is 22. we started going out middle of last year, and we had sooooo much fun, we used to speak everyday on the phone when we couldnt see each other and when we could we had THE BEST sex ever. she was the first gil i mastered her orgasm with (because i loved her for so long i felt i had to give her something so love and orgasms were a good start) i gave her gifts whenever i could, and we had the same sense of humour, and it was just….wow, and the day she told me she loved me was like a dream come true…(i had waited for 4 years for her to say it lol) then after a while we moved in togther, and man we just worked then had sex then had a laugh then got up had sex had a laugh, hugged and held hands all the time, then worked and repeat lol, untill one day. she started saying no to sex and ALWAYS complaining she felt sick, so me being the guy i am concerned with her well being would still ask for sex and stuff and to hug (but I NEVER pressured her, quite the oposite when SHE didnt get it she rolled over and went to bed lol) but when i got turned down i would say “babe aslong as youre comfortable thats all that matters im just being selfish sorry i love you ” and she was fine with that. and then we started argueing more…no idea why. then i lost my job (it was my first job and i had to wear a suit and all and i was sooooo proud and felt crushed when i lost it because it gave me purpose and ambition) so naturally i felt down and didnt feel as fun any more….then a few weeks later her sickness got worse and we found out she was pregnant….WOW i was sooooooo happy, a chance to be with the woman i loved and step up to the mark and do all i could for her and make things right, so next step get a job save up and ask to marry her (with her parents blessing but i get on with them, her dad even went on a 6 hour trip with me to collect my stuff when i moved i honestly get on well with them)…..the day after she tells me she doesnt love me any more at least not as a bf and thinks we should go on a break and that she dont find me attractive anymore (more a personality thing, she didnt like having to ask me to STOP DROOLING IN MY SLEEP!!!! even though i couldnt help it but her attitude is “i dont do it so you shouldnt” lol) and says she movin to her mums and i can find somewhere else to live….which i cant cos i dont have a job, and that the child wont have my second name cos i have a stupid second name (its doyle btw) and i have no say on its name cos i like alexander lol and maybe not on the birth certificate either cos she says she dont want the child knowing IM its father shes now moved, im trying to give her space, but also let her know that im not going anywhere and her + child are my number 1 priority and aslong as shes safe and comfortable thats all that matters. i understand shes scared and hurting and maybe angry that i got her pregnant (even though it was her damn idea ) and hormones and stuff. but im now alone, i have no one to talk to, and need to know how much of this is hormone related and should i keep fighting cos i feel im losing everyday. she even told me if she ever gets married the child can have the guys second name….and it crushed me…..these are all true facts thats why im so confused, i cant sleep i cant eat cos im worrying 24/7 about my future, my potential family, the love of my life, and wat to do and all that….is there ANYTHING i can do to make it right? anything at all? feels like im hitting my head against a brick wall i love her soooooo much i dont want to lose her (i will never EVER tell her this but i will probs kill myself if she left with our child because her and her family are all i have left i got none of my own) please help
also my msn/email addy is waddaydiddlydayday@hotmail.com please i really need to talk to someone

I love him and want to be with him but I can’t be with him like he is. When he hurts my feelings and makes me cry he laughs and mocks me crying saying im ‘weak and pathetic’. When I have the house clean he tells me that its ‘pathetic because I do it for the wrong reasons; I should be trying to please myself not him’.. wtf is that??? I have NO family or friends willing to take me in. I am not close with anyone since I have been with him since my entire life revolves around my bf and daughter who is 15 months. I stay at home during the day and he doesn’t allow me to go out [he says he cant afford the gas even though he goes out between 3 - 5 times a wk while i stay at home and watch the baby and NO he will not do the same for me bcuz he says he makes the money and pays the bills]. I have been with him for 4 years but now he gets in my face forehead pressed to mine and screams at me calling me a bitc* and I really just want to knock him out when he does this and I have hit him a couple of times. He has never hit me but jacked me up on the walls and thrown me across the room, my daughter NEVER sees this however. He works from 6 AM and gets back at 7PM goes straight to the couch and stays there the entire rest of the day unless he goes out with his friends. If i so much ask for him to do ANYTHING he flips out. I understand I need to have ‘my own life’ you know give him the thrill of the chase or w/e but he has pretty much made that impossible. I dont even have a phone during the day and if my friends do call me he doesn’t tell me.

I’m the type of person who loves to laugh and to have fum, I’ve been feeling down in the dumps lately and have been dealing with allot of stress, does anyone know any funny jokes,quotes or stories?